God, as I have felt him....

Since childhood I had been a staunch believer in the idol form of God be it Durga Maa, Santoshi Maa, Shiva, Rama, Krishna and many others as any other Indian Hindu and never questioned what I was taught about God.

In my adolescent and teenage years whenever I would see mom and other members of my family praying to God and fasting for prosperity with offerings to him I would feel the magic working. I felt that I had somehow gotten hold of the trick of how to attain everything in life and reveled in the fact that it would work for me too if I somehow could just make God happy. Trying to come in his good books, I started bribing him about giving him a certain share if I got what I wanted. And lo! behold! it worked. I was hooked on to this habit of taking out God's share before doing anything. My belief in God became more firm. I would even go to the lengths of  making chits and putting in front of a picture of God and then picking them up, very sure that these would be the questions that would come in the exams. You will not believe me when I say that it actually worked and often I would get those same questions that I had prepared. 

Deep down I had become so accustomed to asking for everything from him that I would keep fasts, pray and do everything that I was told to do for my well being yet somewhere along the line I started noticing that God perhaps was not that happy with me anymore. Though I prayed religiously, put aside his share yet I was facing hardships and heartaches. I was getting nowhere and everything I wanted in life was going out of my reach. I was distraught, perplexed. Maybe I was not praying good enough. I needed to pray better else how would I come out of my problems. Why did God leave me in the lurch and run away? I would often fight and get angry with him but nothing worked. He had disappeared and I felt like I my best friend had bereft me. 

What could I do except learn to face my problems head on, without him. I  gathered myself up and  decided that I would keep him forever in my heart yet never ask for his help again. This was my punishment for him for letting me go during difficult times and I felt that my best friend and come back to me. 

As I picked up pace in life I realized that he had never really left my side. It had always been me who had never been able to see who he was and then it dawned on me that GOD was present with me always as my inner strength which made me face my problems with confidence, my innermost conscious which stopped me from doing something that I did not believe in, my smile that instantly came to my face after helping someone, my tears that I shed for every thing that I kept losing in life and ultimately that belief that whatever happens I shall emerge unharmed and as a winner.

Today, I do not fast, I do not keep aside his share, I do not go to temples to pray and yet daily my head is bowed to that power which exists somewhere that leads us through life....I smile more even if I hurt, I give more even if I do not have much for myself and I believe more even if I know there is a dark tunnel which I have to cross...and I know now that this belief is GOD....

Fighting our own disillusionments

There are times in our life when we find ourselves standing at crossroads where we are totally disillusioned. We seem to lose our faith in relationships and all the beautiful feelings that we are blessed to feel.  Love, trust and hope seem to get replaced by anger, hatred and bitterness. 

Whenever we go through such a situation and there is despair all around, one thing that I have learnt is that hope and belief in magical touch pulls us through.

I know it is not easy to face a situation when you have nothing going right for you, but believe me when I say that it is only at these times when we have to realize our internal strength and trust that we will pull through this situation at any cost.

Our loved ones guide us in these times of need, our friends stand there holding our hands, we are given help by everyone around who cares for us but there is only one person who can help you in this time of crisis and that is you yourself.

Don’t go overboard trying to prove to everybody how right you are, don’t go in for self pity but just hang in there and think. Lie alone, go out on drives alone, walk on the beach, listen to music, write your feelings out on a paper but do something.

Some will be judgmental too regarding your decisions, some will agree and go along but the crux is that it is your life and the ultimate decision is yours to make so for that it is essential you believe in yourself and what you are about to do. 

Be firm, do not panic, be at peace with yourself and most importantly stay honest all through and you will have nothing to worry about.

It is a misconception that we should look at the morning sun if we are feeling low and we will get energy to spring back. This is not true as per me. I always look out to the sky at night, when there is stillness and then when I look up to the moon and innumerable starts twinkling brightly, all I wonder is how beautiful this life is and how the moon and stars shine in spite of being overshadowed by the brightness of the sun. Do it tonight and see the magic.

I am sharing this because I have gone through such a situation not long back and believe me, with these little inputs I came out to be a winner. I found solace, happiness and fell in love with myself all over again as a human being because people will only love you if you love yourself first and a broken bitter person is avoided by all.

So get up today and decide that you will come out of your problems in your own unique way and be what you actually want to be, be it a prince or a pauper.

Marriage Myths

The increase in the number of marriages resulting in separation or divorce prompted me to ponder over the reasons why this magic called marriage has suddenly become one of the most ugly face of any society. 
Since ages, marriages have been considered sacred and a union of two souls who come together in this lifetime to love and discover each other. When did this relation of soul mates change cannot be known but yes why this sanctity of marriage took a back seat can be understood by a simple fact.
In earlier times say,( around 40-60 years earlier or even 20-40 years) both the genders had limited exposure and needed companionship so they readily agreed for marriage and worked on their love for their spouse which grew in them as a need to feel a sense of belonging. 
As times changed and the generations became exposed to the beautiful world of social networking sites, friendship and love became easily accessible. Education and revolution in thoughts also added to this affinity and the physical and mental closeness which earlier could only be fathomed after marriage could be seen coming easy for the youth. 
There is no denying that marriages have not lost their charm and still considered as an essential perquisite to happiness but the number of years that a husband and wife spend with each other in bliss has decreased substantially.
The reason being the nagging sensation of inclusion of another human in their private space be it their spouse itself. Till the time the charm remains both husband and wife are pulled towards each other and feel happy but slowly as responsibilities creep in and love becomes a habit both husband and wife drift apart. Responsibilities were there earlier too, love had been a habit earlier too but then husband and wife had nowhere to go except hold on to each other. Now  with the increased involvement in the virtual world of fantasy and dream like relations which are available on networking sites, drifting apart has become easy. 
Slowly this starts with a mental barrier between the two and then becomes wider by both being pulled away from each other and into their own private world where they feel like their own person; where they do not have to pretend; where they are comfortable and have a wide variety of friends to support them.
So to put it simply, this easy availability of relations in today's world and increased involvement in the virtual world of social sites has become one of the major reasons for marriages taking a back seat and live-in relations becoming popular.

Isn't Life Magical?

We all keep writing about social issues, modern era, politics and many other stigmas that affect our tech savvy mind or the essentials to live a comfortable life but when do we ponder over the magic that we live in, every moment. Amidst these highly intellectual discussions and debates I feel lost and simply yearn to ask, “Isn’t life magical?” We have evaluated theories about everything, even death but what about the theories of heart, of feelings?

Whenever I see the beach at night, basking in the light of stars and moon, I walk barefoot on sand, I wonder...
Whenever I see waves creating havoc, coming to the shore and then going back calmly merging again into that sea, I wonder....
Whenever I see the sun rising from unknown and then receding back again to an unknown, I wonder...
Whenever I see a life being born and that first glimpse of awe and happiness on the mother’s face, I wonder….

Whenever I see a life lost and merged into the unsolved black hole, destination of which no one knows, I wonder….
Whenever my heart feels all different kinds of emotions, from where they emerge from I know not, I wonder...

I wonder at this loss of humanity that seems to be etching our hearts where the feelings are dying and we have become robotic or rather mechanical in our pursuits. Is it necessary that people get killed for religion, geographical rights, power and assertion of laws and demented thoughts?

Can’t we prompt, advise, remind, cajole each other to transform our negativity and come out from this mirage of ruthlessness and rather than making compulsive compromises, breathe for once basking in the beauty around?

bond of love between parents and children

What inspired this piece of writing was a soulful scene I witnessed in a party , where a well settled son was asking his mother to politely excuse herself from the guests and retire in her room else she would be a cause of embarrasment for his wife and him as she was a misfit in the party.He then called out to a servant and asked him to escort her back to her room.The looks of utter sadness made me wonder why and how had we reached to this shameful and cruel behavior with our own parents.

EXODUS: 20:12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that thy lord giveth thee “

Urbanization, Globalization and Modernization have led to transformations in the basic social values of the society. The younger generation, in search of new horizons, identities have unconsciously and unknowingly when given up their moral and social values is hard to comprehend but their quench for Independence has definitely led them astray so much, that taking care of their own parents has become an unforeseen burden for them and thus the framework of this new socio structure that has emerged is not a pretty sight.

RAMAYANA 2.111.9 SHLOKA “Na Supratikaram tattu maatraa pitraa cha yat krutam”

It is difficult for the children to repay the debt of what the mother and the father have done to bring them up.

When a mother runs after her child with extreme love to feed her/him even though she might not have enough to eat; when she stays awake the whole night to nurture her sick child; when she starts crying at the mere thought of her child feeling sad; when there are tears of joy in her eyes at her child’s each little accomplishment; little does she think of how her child would behave with her once she steps into her old age and becomes dependent on her/him.

When a father runs around to provide for his child; when he gives up his own needs to fulfill a whim of his child; when he relents in his principles to forgive his child for a mistake; little does he ponder on whether his child will hold his hand and walk besides him when his own shoulders are bent with worries.

Here it is necessary to emphasize that a recent survey conducted by a team of young social workers brought out touching and heart wrenching results.

22% of the parents are living in their homes with complete authority and respect provided to them by their children.

Then there were nearly 37% parents residing with their children itself , surrounded by a loving family on the forefront, but on the inside living a life of despair and loneliness so much that no one in their family has time to sit beside them and talk to them lovingly for some time. Mothers, who had taken utmost care of their child’s each desire in their youth, have been left stranded on the servants to be taken care of.

18% of the parents are living in separate houses, fending for themselves and longing for the companionship and care of their children in their last days.

The last segment included 23% parents who have been disowned by their own blood and are either spending their lives on roadside slums or in old age homes where every day they wish to go back home with dignity and respect.

What and how this negligence is becoming deep rooted is difficult to fathom but we do have to retrospect where things are going wrong and take effective measures or else the love and care we have for our parents will be somehow be lost in the books of history.

Life is nothing but a game of chess; a threefold Dharma whereby we have to understand the duties as an individual, family and society and play our part successfully to fulfill our karma.

If once we look beyond a mother’s fake smile or search the empty eyes of a father who has been left lonely by his children; if just once we search within our souls and reminisce the love our parents showered upon us as children, maybe we can slowly bring changes in our thought procedure and instead of thinking them as burdens would start cherishing them with tender care and extreme love.

QURAN chapter 17 verse 23 also says,

“And your lord has commanded that you shall not serve ( any ) but him; and goodness to your parents , if either or both of them reach old age with you , say not to them ( so much as ) ‘ugh’ nor chide them , and speak to them a generous word.”

 I just wish that we understand that life comes to a full cycle for all of us and by causing pain to our parents might just leave a scar on their souls which might haunt us later in our lives.