bond of love between parents and children

What inspired this piece of writing was a soulful scene I witnessed in a party , where a well settled son was asking his mother to politely excuse herself from the guests and retire in her room else she would be a cause of embarrasment for his wife and him as she was a misfit in the party.He then called out to a servant and asked him to escort her back to her room.The looks of utter sadness made me wonder why and how had we reached to this shameful and cruel behavior with our own parents.

EXODUS: 20:12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that thy lord giveth thee “

Urbanization, Globalization and Modernization have led to transformations in the basic social values of the society. The younger generation, in search of new horizons, identities have unconsciously and unknowingly when given up their moral and social values is hard to comprehend but their quench for Independence has definitely led them astray so much, that taking care of their own parents has become an unforeseen burden for them and thus the framework of this new socio structure that has emerged is not a pretty sight.

RAMAYANA 2.111.9 SHLOKA “Na Supratikaram tattu maatraa pitraa cha yat krutam”

It is difficult for the children to repay the debt of what the mother and the father have done to bring them up.

When a mother runs after her child with extreme love to feed her/him even though she might not have enough to eat; when she stays awake the whole night to nurture her sick child; when she starts crying at the mere thought of her child feeling sad; when there are tears of joy in her eyes at her child’s each little accomplishment; little does she think of how her child would behave with her once she steps into her old age and becomes dependent on her/him.

When a father runs around to provide for his child; when he gives up his own needs to fulfill a whim of his child; when he relents in his principles to forgive his child for a mistake; little does he ponder on whether his child will hold his hand and walk besides him when his own shoulders are bent with worries.

Here it is necessary to emphasize that a recent survey conducted by a team of young social workers brought out touching and heart wrenching results.

22% of the parents are living in their homes with complete authority and respect provided to them by their children.

Then there were nearly 37% parents residing with their children itself , surrounded by a loving family on the forefront, but on the inside living a life of despair and loneliness so much that no one in their family has time to sit beside them and talk to them lovingly for some time. Mothers, who had taken utmost care of their child’s each desire in their youth, have been left stranded on the servants to be taken care of.

18% of the parents are living in separate houses, fending for themselves and longing for the companionship and care of their children in their last days.

The last segment included 23% parents who have been disowned by their own blood and are either spending their lives on roadside slums or in old age homes where every day they wish to go back home with dignity and respect.

What and how this negligence is becoming deep rooted is difficult to fathom but we do have to retrospect where things are going wrong and take effective measures or else the love and care we have for our parents will be somehow be lost in the books of history.

Life is nothing but a game of chess; a threefold Dharma whereby we have to understand the duties as an individual, family and society and play our part successfully to fulfill our karma.

If once we look beyond a mother’s fake smile or search the empty eyes of a father who has been left lonely by his children; if just once we search within our souls and reminisce the love our parents showered upon us as children, maybe we can slowly bring changes in our thought procedure and instead of thinking them as burdens would start cherishing them with tender care and extreme love.

QURAN chapter 17 verse 23 also says,

“And your lord has commanded that you shall not serve ( any ) but him; and goodness to your parents , if either or both of them reach old age with you , say not to them ( so much as ) ‘ugh’ nor chide them , and speak to them a generous word.”

 I just wish that we understand that life comes to a full cycle for all of us and by causing pain to our parents might just leave a scar on their souls which might haunt us later in our lives.